Posts
Screw formatting constraints and scheduled posts. I've experimented with them in deciding in which direction to take this blog, and they don't satisfy me. I don't like artificially constraining myself in terms of what I can write, and besides, weeks and weeks may pass before I have anything interesting, unique, or useful to say about one of those given topics. So from here on out, the SoFL 2 SwPA blog will have no posting schedule whatsoever - with the exception that I will generally still reserve Sundays for commentary that is always random, sometimes rather banal, sometimes rather profound. I think this will lend the blog much more spontaneity while keeping the content useful and high-quality and ensuring that I'm not bored to tears in the process of maintaining it.
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Atypical - [ey-tip-i-kuhl] - adjective
not typical; not conforming to the type; irregular; abnormal: atypical behavior; a flower atypical of the species.
Just a quick note on something I've thought about quite a bit lately, being "atypical." This seems to be one of the few constant elements in my life, for better and for worse. Anybody who knows me would agree that I am not "typical" in relation to the overall American culture. But for me, being atypical has always gone far, far beyond that. While other minorities in various minority groups can generally take refuge in their own conformist like-minded sect - the nerds, the gays, the atheists, the secular urban professionals, etc. etc. - I have never found any type of minority group, or group period, in which I am not marked by a strong degree of atypicality - certainly not as strongly defined as my differences from the "overall cultural norms" - but still enough to mark me as fairly different from the group members. I've always felt somewhat socially and culturally isolated from other black people. I'm a hardcore far-left liberal, but my Starbucks-drinking, Walmart and Target-shopping, Corporate America-residing lifestyle habits seem to be anathema to most people with political values very similar to mine. I'm hard-pressed to think of anything that I have in common with a "typical businessperson" - from golf to family to religion to values on money and everything in between - my lifestyle and beliefs seem on an entirely different realm than theirs. I'm dumbfounded by the political naivete of so many gay people that I've been around, and though gay men are in general the group that I feel most similar to, there are rather strong differences there too - I may enjoy Hilfiger and Polo, but am quite fine sporting Target from head to toe 90% of the time, and my lifestyle does not revolve around clubbing and casual sex (though like virtually everybody else, those are things in which I do partake.) People in my income range and with my social and political views tend to be what are referred to as "lifestyle liberals" - the types who go crazy over organic food, enjoy grungy hometown bands, cannot stand Starbucks but frequent local coffee shops (with coffee of a similar or even worse quality), and are usually the quickest early adopters to experiment with any "newest and coolest" products provided, of course, that they are original, generally meaning that they "are free of corporate influence." Not only do I have a lifestyle that is very different from that crowd, I frankly find them to be among the most arrogant, irritating, downright elitist, and just generally unpleasant bunch of clowns that I have to deal with. If given the choice of spending the day with a stereotypical "lifestyle liberal" (Pittsburgh seems to be full of this type) or with a conservative, I would almost invariably choose the conservative. In terms of lifestyle habits, we would probably have more in common, and they probably wouldn't be high on pot, either.
To a certain extent, this degree of atypicality is a great thing. People can rarely predict my view on nuanced issues. My viewpoints and analyses are often praised as being original, creative, outside of the box. I find it hard to imagine that I would be as open and tolerant of diversity as I am were I not so different from general and perceived norms. And yet, on the other hand, I'm clearly presented with some obvious challenges. It does get lonely at times because even my very best friends - who are invariably women, with the exception of my partner - are probably at best 40-45% similar to me, and that's probably being generous. Or take networking, particularly networking for the point of advancing your business career. To some people this comes as naturally as breathing, because they find it so easy to relate to a large majority of people. For me, networking is an effort of gargantuan proportions - not because I'm shy or socially awkward, but because it takes legitimate and sustained effort for me to establish and maintain meaningful connections with people that go deeper than superficial discussion on things like educational background, career interests, and the weather. When I'm speaking with a typical 35-year-old white, heterosexual Christian male businessperson, I sometimes feel as if we might as well be from two different planets. How do I establish strong bonds and trust in a business context with a person like that - a person with whom I have so very little in common, so very few shared life experiences? I'm still working on that one! Maybe I'll figure it out by the time that I hit 30. Even among fellow Heinz College students here at Carnegie Mellon, I have trouble finding common ground. My own program, MISM, is dominated overwhelmingly by foreign students - nearly all of them Asian - who adhere religiously to nation-based cliques and spend their Saturday nights on campus studying (!), and many of the rest of the students in programs such as Public Policy and Arts Management fit into that "lifestyle liberal" group that I just discussed. Virtually nobody is from a Sun Belt state (few people are willing, as I was, to even temporarily trade in Arizona or Florida weather for this shit), so that particular perspective is generally lost on people. I am usually the youngest person by 5 years at a minimum in any group. I was always a bit of an outlier as well at the University of Florida, but that has been quintupled in force as a student here. Despite the differences, I always felt a strong cultural unity with UF; I often feel like a complete foreigner while on CMU's campus, like a Pitt student who inadvertently wandered a bit too far down Forbes Avenue.
Long live diversity, and long live differences. If only they were easier to deal with!
__________________________________________________________________
Atypical - [ey-tip-i-kuhl] - adjective
not typical; not conforming to the type; irregular; abnormal: atypical behavior; a flower atypical of the species.
Just a quick note on something I've thought about quite a bit lately, being "atypical." This seems to be one of the few constant elements in my life, for better and for worse. Anybody who knows me would agree that I am not "typical" in relation to the overall American culture. But for me, being atypical has always gone far, far beyond that. While other minorities in various minority groups can generally take refuge in their own conformist like-minded sect - the nerds, the gays, the atheists, the secular urban professionals, etc. etc. - I have never found any type of minority group, or group period, in which I am not marked by a strong degree of atypicality - certainly not as strongly defined as my differences from the "overall cultural norms" - but still enough to mark me as fairly different from the group members. I've always felt somewhat socially and culturally isolated from other black people. I'm a hardcore far-left liberal, but my Starbucks-drinking, Walmart and Target-shopping, Corporate America-residing lifestyle habits seem to be anathema to most people with political values very similar to mine. I'm hard-pressed to think of anything that I have in common with a "typical businessperson" - from golf to family to religion to values on money and everything in between - my lifestyle and beliefs seem on an entirely different realm than theirs. I'm dumbfounded by the political naivete of so many gay people that I've been around, and though gay men are in general the group that I feel most similar to, there are rather strong differences there too - I may enjoy Hilfiger and Polo, but am quite fine sporting Target from head to toe 90% of the time, and my lifestyle does not revolve around clubbing and casual sex (though like virtually everybody else, those are things in which I do partake.) People in my income range and with my social and political views tend to be what are referred to as "lifestyle liberals" - the types who go crazy over organic food, enjoy grungy hometown bands, cannot stand Starbucks but frequent local coffee shops (with coffee of a similar or even worse quality), and are usually the quickest early adopters to experiment with any "newest and coolest" products provided, of course, that they are original, generally meaning that they "are free of corporate influence." Not only do I have a lifestyle that is very different from that crowd, I frankly find them to be among the most arrogant, irritating, downright elitist, and just generally unpleasant bunch of clowns that I have to deal with. If given the choice of spending the day with a stereotypical "lifestyle liberal" (Pittsburgh seems to be full of this type) or with a conservative, I would almost invariably choose the conservative. In terms of lifestyle habits, we would probably have more in common, and they probably wouldn't be high on pot, either.
To a certain extent, this degree of atypicality is a great thing. People can rarely predict my view on nuanced issues. My viewpoints and analyses are often praised as being original, creative, outside of the box. I find it hard to imagine that I would be as open and tolerant of diversity as I am were I not so different from general and perceived norms. And yet, on the other hand, I'm clearly presented with some obvious challenges. It does get lonely at times because even my very best friends - who are invariably women, with the exception of my partner - are probably at best 40-45% similar to me, and that's probably being generous. Or take networking, particularly networking for the point of advancing your business career. To some people this comes as naturally as breathing, because they find it so easy to relate to a large majority of people. For me, networking is an effort of gargantuan proportions - not because I'm shy or socially awkward, but because it takes legitimate and sustained effort for me to establish and maintain meaningful connections with people that go deeper than superficial discussion on things like educational background, career interests, and the weather. When I'm speaking with a typical 35-year-old white, heterosexual Christian male businessperson, I sometimes feel as if we might as well be from two different planets. How do I establish strong bonds and trust in a business context with a person like that - a person with whom I have so very little in common, so very few shared life experiences? I'm still working on that one! Maybe I'll figure it out by the time that I hit 30. Even among fellow Heinz College students here at Carnegie Mellon, I have trouble finding common ground. My own program, MISM, is dominated overwhelmingly by foreign students - nearly all of them Asian - who adhere religiously to nation-based cliques and spend their Saturday nights on campus studying (!), and many of the rest of the students in programs such as Public Policy and Arts Management fit into that "lifestyle liberal" group that I just discussed. Virtually nobody is from a Sun Belt state (few people are willing, as I was, to even temporarily trade in Arizona or Florida weather for this shit), so that particular perspective is generally lost on people. I am usually the youngest person by 5 years at a minimum in any group. I was always a bit of an outlier as well at the University of Florida, but that has been quintupled in force as a student here. Despite the differences, I always felt a strong cultural unity with UF; I often feel like a complete foreigner while on CMU's campus, like a Pitt student who inadvertently wandered a bit too far down Forbes Avenue.
Long live diversity, and long live differences. If only they were easier to deal with!
2 comments:
As one of your classmates, and as someone who has found himself 'out of place' during his undegraduate days, I can understand what you say.
However, it would be wrong to assume the absence of like-minded people. You simply have to keep your eyes open. Whilst it is a mark of great self-worth that one doesn't cave in to the larger crowd, one cannot use it as an excuse to not mingle with people.
I am one of those people that linger in Hamburg Hall during the late hours of the night. :)
Even foreigners can be friends, and good ones too.
It is not simply "like-minded" people - it is people with whom you share a wide range of similarities, on everything from personal interests to social/political views to lifestyle habits. While a typical W.A.S.P might encounter dozens of such people throughout their life, I have encountered next to none.
I don't mean to single out CMU students or MISMers as groups from which I feel an *especially exaggerated* set of differences. There are definitely some major - and real - differences between myself and an average CMU/MISM student, but I can think of any number of groups from whom I feel an equally, or more, profound cultural separation.
Some of my best friends are foreign-born. To be frank, though, I am no longer going to expend a huge amount of energy trying to break into MISM's nation-based cliques, when it is clear that the students in those cliques do not care to associate with people who are not from their own nation.
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