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I am back in Pittsburgh, since Friday at around 6:30 PM. I'm staying with a housemate in a recently renovated rowhouse in the Lawrenceville neighborhood, a once-dilapidated area that, like much of Pittsburgh, is now rapidly undergoing a massive wave of revitalization and gentrification (which is not at all to say that this neighborhood, and all others in Pittsburgh, doesn't contain its fair share of decrepitude - that is something universal in the Rust Belt, save a few newer and affluent suburbs far removed from the central cities.) I have already settled in, feel quite at home, and am thinking ahead to the upcoming semester - my last semester of formal education, ever - which inevitably entails thinking about how things went so wrong last year.
Perhaps at this point it would be easy to succumb to fatalistic thinking. Perhaps it would be easy to look back at all that has been bad or gone wrong in 2008 and 2009 - the death in the immediate family, the probate issues and wars, the ill-advised selection of a graduate school where most students are antisocial and don't mesh well with my personality, the brutal Pittsburgh winter and depressing nature of this city, the lowest academic performance across my entire college and pre-secondary career, and as of late the relationship issues - and declare that this semester is inevitably going to be marked by suffering, strife, disappointments, failure, and an overall lack of purpose and direction. For many people, this would be precisely the primal instinct after the nonstop roller-coaster ride of 2008 and 2009 (many, of course, would resort to talking to their Imaginary Friend at this point.)
But perhaps because I am ruggedly stubborn and not yet wise in my ways, I can't help but hold on to a youthful optimism at any new junction, new beginning, in my life. And this semester is not any ordinary new beginning; it will mark one of those fundamental inflection points in life, the transition between the academic and work worlds. As of mid-December, I will have a Master's degree from Carnegie Mellon and will be preparing for a permanent return to South Florida, job in hand. And for all of my failures and shortcomings, this surely is an accomplishment in which I can take tremendous pride, particularly at age 22.
I won't even stop there, however. Fate, destiny, bad luck, bad choices, the City of Pittsburgh, and the antisocial environment at CMU all be damned. None of them are going to get in the way of my process of making this a productive, fun period in life. This is my last semester immersed in the academic realm, and it will not be marked by unhappiness, disappointment, failure, and a general state of stagnation and melancholy. No, it shall not.
This will be a semester in which I make tremendous academic growth, both in my degree-related study and independently in areas that interest me or in which I feel that I should become more knowledgeable.
This will be a semester in which all of the external issues - be they probate, relationship, or otherwise - will not serve as an undue burden on my peace and happiness.
This will be a semester marked by exemplary academic performance, the kind of performance that defined my scholastic record from 1992 - May of 2008.
This will be a semester in which I perform exceptionally well in my work and extracurricular duties, enriching the academic experience in ways that transcend what can be learned from a book, and giving back to my community and others in the process.
This will be a semester that is fun, filled with social activities, meeting new people, and trying new things. Yes, CMU - and Heinz in particular - is filled with anti-social drones who do not care for intermingling with their peers, particularly peers from other nations. Yes, Heinz has no shortage of students who find it easier to deal with the NetBeans IDE than living, breathing people. This is their problem, not mine, and the existence of these people will not stand in the way of having fun.
And most of all, this shall be a semester that I will look back on as the start of yet another good part of my life - much like the entirety of the UF experience. Ten years from now, while I will undoubtedly remember the loneliness, pain, and suffering of the first year at CMU, I want to see my final semester here in an entirely different light - as a time when I had a blast before moving on to the work world.
I am back in Pittsburgh, and I am ready to get to work.
Perhaps at this point it would be easy to succumb to fatalistic thinking. Perhaps it would be easy to look back at all that has been bad or gone wrong in 2008 and 2009 - the death in the immediate family, the probate issues and wars, the ill-advised selection of a graduate school where most students are antisocial and don't mesh well with my personality, the brutal Pittsburgh winter and depressing nature of this city, the lowest academic performance across my entire college and pre-secondary career, and as of late the relationship issues - and declare that this semester is inevitably going to be marked by suffering, strife, disappointments, failure, and an overall lack of purpose and direction. For many people, this would be precisely the primal instinct after the nonstop roller-coaster ride of 2008 and 2009 (many, of course, would resort to talking to their Imaginary Friend at this point.)
But perhaps because I am ruggedly stubborn and not yet wise in my ways, I can't help but hold on to a youthful optimism at any new junction, new beginning, in my life. And this semester is not any ordinary new beginning; it will mark one of those fundamental inflection points in life, the transition between the academic and work worlds. As of mid-December, I will have a Master's degree from Carnegie Mellon and will be preparing for a permanent return to South Florida, job in hand. And for all of my failures and shortcomings, this surely is an accomplishment in which I can take tremendous pride, particularly at age 22.
I won't even stop there, however. Fate, destiny, bad luck, bad choices, the City of Pittsburgh, and the antisocial environment at CMU all be damned. None of them are going to get in the way of my process of making this a productive, fun period in life. This is my last semester immersed in the academic realm, and it will not be marked by unhappiness, disappointment, failure, and a general state of stagnation and melancholy. No, it shall not.
This will be a semester in which I make tremendous academic growth, both in my degree-related study and independently in areas that interest me or in which I feel that I should become more knowledgeable.
This will be a semester in which all of the external issues - be they probate, relationship, or otherwise - will not serve as an undue burden on my peace and happiness.
This will be a semester marked by exemplary academic performance, the kind of performance that defined my scholastic record from 1992 - May of 2008.
This will be a semester in which I perform exceptionally well in my work and extracurricular duties, enriching the academic experience in ways that transcend what can be learned from a book, and giving back to my community and others in the process.
This will be a semester that is fun, filled with social activities, meeting new people, and trying new things. Yes, CMU - and Heinz in particular - is filled with anti-social drones who do not care for intermingling with their peers, particularly peers from other nations. Yes, Heinz has no shortage of students who find it easier to deal with the NetBeans IDE than living, breathing people. This is their problem, not mine, and the existence of these people will not stand in the way of having fun.
And most of all, this shall be a semester that I will look back on as the start of yet another good part of my life - much like the entirety of the UF experience. Ten years from now, while I will undoubtedly remember the loneliness, pain, and suffering of the first year at CMU, I want to see my final semester here in an entirely different light - as a time when I had a blast before moving on to the work world.
I am back in Pittsburgh, and I am ready to get to work.
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