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This is going to be the first year in quite some time in which I don't make resolutions.
That's a decision partially rooted in symbolism, partially in practical considerations. On the practical side of the continuum, none of the typical New Year's resolutions are really applicable to my life. I'm not overweight and don't need to lose weight (though, once back in Florida I will certainly exercise more than I do in Pittsburgh's godawful polar climate.) I don't smoke, and only drink in social moderation. I don't do any drugs. I don't believe in God or organized religion, so don't intend on dedicating any more of my time - or any time at all - to a church. I don't have to worry about coming out as gay and going through that process, nor do I have any other secrets to reveal. I have a job awaiting me upon graduation, I'm a college graduate at 21, and I will have finished grad school well before I turn 23. I suppose I could save more money, but seeing as I actually have an IRA and investments at the age of 21, I think I'm in better shape than 96% of my peers. My credit is fine. I have great friends. I spend enough time with my family, and in any event, I don't have much of an "immediate" family left. The rapid changes of this year have produced a variety of quarter-life crisis moments but, looking at things rationally, I'm perfectly happy with the overall direction of my life.
But there is also a healthy dose of symbolism behind my decision to discontinue my usual bullet-point set of resolutions. Much of this traces to the fact that what I most deeply desire for 2009 is not a thing, or even an accomplishment, but rather a state of being marked by stability. If 2008 was the "year of change" - and in so many ways it was, both markedly positive and horribly negative changes - I want 2009 to be a year of stability. Not stagnation, but stability. I have a feeling that many people in the world share this peculiar, yet eternal sentiment. I have lived much of my life as a relatively rootless individual, never belonging here nor there, never really having a fixed set of things that could be called definitively "mine." I want 2009 to be the year in which that changes, forever.
I want 2009 to be the year in which I finally establish municipal roots in a place that I can accept as my community.
I want 2009 to be the year in which I settle into long-term habits.
I want 2009 to be the year in which I begin to approach my future not as some detached set of long-term objectives, but something that is laid out almost tangibly in front of me like a chess game, something that I see myself advancing towards each and every day.
All in all, I want 2009 to be the year that, 20 years from now, I can look back upon and conclusively mark as the beginning of my adult life; the first year in which I was no longer my mother's son, her proud and independent college student, but rather a fledgling adult starting out in the long process of marking his own family, his own life, his own legacy - while fully acknowledging, of course, the debt that I owe to those in my past, as well as the fact that my development and destiny are inextricably linked to those of the people who have come before me.
So maybe, after all, I do have a somewhat strange resolution. Find stability, or something like that. Find, or plant...
His own roots?
Given the relative difficulty involved, maybe I should just stick with losing five pounds, after all.
Happy New Year, and best wishes for 2009!
That's a decision partially rooted in symbolism, partially in practical considerations. On the practical side of the continuum, none of the typical New Year's resolutions are really applicable to my life. I'm not overweight and don't need to lose weight (though, once back in Florida I will certainly exercise more than I do in Pittsburgh's godawful polar climate.) I don't smoke, and only drink in social moderation. I don't do any drugs. I don't believe in God or organized religion, so don't intend on dedicating any more of my time - or any time at all - to a church. I don't have to worry about coming out as gay and going through that process, nor do I have any other secrets to reveal. I have a job awaiting me upon graduation, I'm a college graduate at 21, and I will have finished grad school well before I turn 23. I suppose I could save more money, but seeing as I actually have an IRA and investments at the age of 21, I think I'm in better shape than 96% of my peers. My credit is fine. I have great friends. I spend enough time with my family, and in any event, I don't have much of an "immediate" family left. The rapid changes of this year have produced a variety of quarter-life crisis moments but, looking at things rationally, I'm perfectly happy with the overall direction of my life.
But there is also a healthy dose of symbolism behind my decision to discontinue my usual bullet-point set of resolutions. Much of this traces to the fact that what I most deeply desire for 2009 is not a thing, or even an accomplishment, but rather a state of being marked by stability. If 2008 was the "year of change" - and in so many ways it was, both markedly positive and horribly negative changes - I want 2009 to be a year of stability. Not stagnation, but stability. I have a feeling that many people in the world share this peculiar, yet eternal sentiment. I have lived much of my life as a relatively rootless individual, never belonging here nor there, never really having a fixed set of things that could be called definitively "mine." I want 2009 to be the year in which that changes, forever.
I want 2009 to be the year in which I finally establish municipal roots in a place that I can accept as my community.
I want 2009 to be the year in which I settle into long-term habits.
I want 2009 to be the year in which I begin to approach my future not as some detached set of long-term objectives, but something that is laid out almost tangibly in front of me like a chess game, something that I see myself advancing towards each and every day.
All in all, I want 2009 to be the year that, 20 years from now, I can look back upon and conclusively mark as the beginning of my adult life; the first year in which I was no longer my mother's son, her proud and independent college student, but rather a fledgling adult starting out in the long process of marking his own family, his own life, his own legacy - while fully acknowledging, of course, the debt that I owe to those in my past, as well as the fact that my development and destiny are inextricably linked to those of the people who have come before me.
So maybe, after all, I do have a somewhat strange resolution. Find stability, or something like that. Find, or plant...
His own roots?
Given the relative difficulty involved, maybe I should just stick with losing five pounds, after all.
Happy New Year, and best wishes for 2009!
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